Owned was bad but but Texas hold 'em...!

I was on facebook for about a week. I made a ton of money on owned right off the bat because my wife who is a junkie bought me right away for 2 mil. So I spent money on a bunch of other people's pics that I knew were going to sell and started flippin pictures like a real estate broker. It's all pretend money, by the way! Well it was sort of fun, but it was nothing compared to the excitement of Texas hold em. It took a while to break a couple thousand dollars, but once I figured it out I was addicted. Within 3 days, a couple hours a day, I was over 30,000 dollars. Man the rush you would get going all in with several thousand dollars, holding a royal flush or a straight, knowing you had a great chance at the pot, crossing your fingers still, and swinging your arms screaming yes, because you just quadrupled your pot of fake money! I called my brother and asked him if he would take my user and play every other night. That way I could limit my play because we would share the same user. To my dismay he had no interest in my plan. I gave up and completely yanked my facebook profile. It was too fun and addicting and I knew I was going to waste countless hours. As a result the pictures of mine on "owned" all purchased by perfect strangers around the world suddenly vanished! Millions of dollars in investment, poof, gone in the blink of an eye. My wife was a bit ticked. She had invested 2 mil, as I said, in my profile pic, and it was gone! I just can't believe the women who married me, didn't realize from the get go I was a risky investment! Duh.
Just kidding, Heather! I luv you! The truth is you were too expensive for me to purchase and it just hurt so much that I couldn't buy you. I couldn't stand to see all these incredibly rich men buying you up like Anna Nicole Smith and there was little I could do to stop it. So to save myself from the daily pain of seeing your pictures so far out of my reach and knowing I could never possibly have you all to myself, I decided to end my life and I killed my user! I just want you to know my user loved you with all his heart. And now he's DEAD!




I got back on facebook today. I was tempted to see if the 40 thousand I won on texas hold em was still there. It was there. I lost half of it during the next half hour and now I gotta win it back!